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No, demanded of me. We were perfection in its truest sense. Now little things send me spiraling into tears under his scrutiny, knowing how disappointed he must be to see how I have retracted while he was gone. My timing is off … my responses not instantaneous. I used to be able to read his mind and know what he was thinking without question. Now I find myself stumbling for words and quick responses to his questions. I doubt my answers, hoping they are what he is looking for when I used to just know. Just last night he said, “You’re too emotional, relax slut” but those words alone were enough to send a fresh stream of tears down my cheeks. He knows me, inside and out, through and through, as if no time has passed between us and I ache to belong to him again. In my heart, I know that I never stopped belonging to him … that even in his absence, he was here with me. But I still long to proudly wear his steel again, to have that something that I can reach up and grab a hold of and be. But because of my overdeveloped imagination, the dangerous canine did not remain trapped inside my mind. Instead, it came to life, taking the form of a fantasy. Before I could even figure out what was happening, the real world had faded and was replaced by an identical fantasy one. I was still running, but unlike in real life, a huge, deadly canine was now chasing me. I peered over my shoulder and realized he was closing in on me. I ran faster, but that did no good as my pursuer had the advantage of having four legs. Eventually, he got so close that I decided to change tactics. Veering off the beaten path, I cut through a flowerbed and darted down a hill. Unfortunately, my escape plan backfired. Tripping on a lump of grass, I lost my footing and tumbled down the hill. By the time I reached the bottom, my pursued was upon me. I lay flat on my stomach as I struggled to keep the world from spinning. After a second, it did and I got to my hands and knees. But that was as far as I got.
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