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She always addresses me with this exaggerated politeness,pretending she doesn't know I am a fraud. I sit at the side of my lover clothedas if I was a free woman. It is what you want, but my discomfort certainlyamuses her. She may be the one person who recognizes the true irony of my situation. Youare my master and you want me to act as an independent woman, it is what youdemand of me. Because I am your slave I acquiesce to that absurd demand. Whyyou must pretend that the woman who surrenders herself to your demands is freeI do not know. I will play that role as long as you want me to. I would ratherbe kneeling naked at the feet of my master, like so many others at this clubare allowed to do. You indulge me sometimes but what I desire is of no realconsequence. You know I wish to wear your collar, you deny me this for yourown reasons. I will do as my Master wishes, I will even pretend I can refuseyou. "Can I get you a drink Mark?" Miss Ruth asks. "Yes please, my regular." Master. We did progress our plans, I agreed to move into Keith's house, I wouldsell my flat after the wedding but I refused to live with his ex wife'sfurniture, d?cor and linen etc, we would purchase new or use mine. Wewould both continue to work, me with my small painting and decoratingbusiness and Keith with his job in Sales and exports. His daughter Terriand my daughter Jemma would be bridesmaids. I won my fight to have a lowkey registry office wedding, instead of the total female fantasy churchceremony. Keith insisted that we continue to live apart until after thewedding in an old traditional fashion.As these wedding negotiations progressed I realised that Keith could bea pig headed and stubborn male, during our discussions I conceded moreoften than he did, he was gradually taking the lead role for decisionmaking in our relationship, I was slowly slipping into a secondary role.Looking back I can see that I was being moulded into the "little woman".The potential relationship buster was.
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