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But I felt pretty sure Coach hadn't mentioned any of that when he'd talked to the principal, so I wasn't going to either."I see, uh ... Okay, Ann..." Mr. Snyder wasn't sure what to do now. Brian wasn't there to defend himself, being too busy bleeding in the nurse's office, and if what I said was true then it had been Brian's fault anyway and he should probably be suspended for grabbing a girl's butt in the cafeteria. Heck, the principal might have been wondering if I was gonna get a lawyer and sue the school district. I heard they did weird stuff like that in Seattle, and for a lot less than getting groped by a classmate!"Am I going to be suspended?" I asked him."Um, no. I don't think we need to do that. But this is a warning, understand? Your first and only one. We can't have students fighting. The next time it happens you'll be suspended for three days." He tried to look tough or something, but Coach was right, Principal Snyder was a pencil necked geek who'd never played football. "I am, in my generosity, to leave you your life and to give you the post of Eunuch in Charge of Public Lavatories in Kobekistan." Eu ... eunuch?" asked the Khan, horrified."Eunuch in Charge of Public Lavatories I said, and I am a man of my word. You will hold that post for five years, then you will be free to go wherever you wish. Woe betide you if there are any complaints about the Public Lavatories during your time in power. Since the post is for five years and you will then have your freedom, I think you will not have the balls, real or metaphorical, to commit suicide."The Emir laughed heartily at his own pun, but the Khan did not seem to think it funny.Addressing the Grand Vizier of Tradagha, the capital of Tirfil, the Emir asked, "How many wives does the Khan have?"The Grand Vizier was a man who fully understood the importance of power, and who knew that his life almost certainly depended on keeping well in with the victors in the recent war. He had already surrendered his harem.
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