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I was somewhat irritated with Annie, but not really mad. I've always been a very direct person. By that I mean when something bothers me, I don't sit around and stew about it ... I react at once and say what I feel. Sometimes that's good. I have some buddies I talk to, and when a bump in the road comes along, they worry and worry at it—like a dog gnawing at a bone, making themselves upset over something that usually turns out to be trivial.I like to think of the problems that arise in life and in a marriage as a storm. Forgetting to stop at the store was like a gentle spring rain. Losing a job might be like a summer thunder storm—lots of flash and noise but not an insurmountable problem. A death in the family would be like a tsunami bringing terror and disruption. What works for me in this analogy is it makes it easier to wrap my head around the "storms" that life brings.A good example of how I am happened a few months ago. I'd noticed that the tires on Annie's Lexus weren't showing. Iunderstand that now. But why was I made to suffer like I am? Ithad to be something. Again I ask myself the question."Where did I screw up?" my voice, trembling with tears in mythroat, calls out.Suddenly, I am in a dark place. I'm shivering and can't see mysurrounding's. What's going on?A voice I know all too well whispers to me."You never will change."The darkness ebbs, and I now see I am sitting next to a campfire.The warmth makes my body shiver as if to drive out the cold.Standing across from me is the phantom I saw that fateful night."No matter what, it's all about you, isn't it? Your suffering,your lost family, your lost manhood. You, you, you, right?"I now feel anger well up inside of me. I know I shouldn'tchallenge an entity as powerful as her, but my pride leads me on."NO! Don't you think I care about other people, too? Am I notdoing my best to ease my new parents fears? Huh? Just what doyou want from me?"Somewhere in this vision of a forest, a bear roars. A.
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