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Of course, sex could not do these things and Ariel was miserable. When he had a lover, he was afraid and insecure, and when he didn't have a lover, he felt abandoned and worthless. As a teenager, Ariel developed many addictions to avoid feeling the tremendous emotional pain he was in. He stopped taking care of his body and so became truly unattractive, which invited further rejection which further damaged his self-esteem. He came to hate his body and to feel completely disconnected from it.When Ariel was 18, having cleaned up his act a bit, he fell in love with a girl, got her pregnant and got married. The girl was even more emotionally damaged than Ariel and the marriage broke up after three years. The girl left Ariel and took their daughter with her. Ariel felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his body. The loss of his wife and daughter was devastating. The pain was too much for Ariel to bear and so he stuffed it all down inside himself. By this time, Ariel had actually. Now they represented what I was becoming. They werenot mine but they would be soon. The forbidden was in reach."Danny! Dinner!" My sister screeched from the door. It was now or never.We would be getting a phone call about my impending transformationtomorrow. I needed to tell my family that there was going to be anothergirl soon.My mom set down a plate of pasta in front of me. Haley sat across fromme. I looked at her. She had almost reddish hair, more brown I guess. Shewore a very little amount of make-up, just enough to make her eyes pop.Since it was summer she was wearing jean cut offs and a tank top. My eyeswandered to her chest. She was bigger than most girls her age. A 34C Iknew from wearing her bras. My mom was also bigger. Oh my. It suddenlyoccurred to me that I would most likely have large breasts as well. Was Ireally doing this?Dinner went on as usual, Haley told a story about something that happenedto her at the diner she works at. I kept looking for an opening,something to.
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