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I waited for his return and refilled my glass. Andy came back bearing a package that was expertly wrapped, there was a large bow on the gift. He handed me the gift and encouraged me to open it, I opened it and found it was a matching set to the robe he was wearing, there was also a Speedo costume. I laughed and gave Andy a thank you kiss, he told me to put it on, I obliged, Andy sat while I undressed and he encouraged me to make a show of it. I was enjoying this and moved over to the Hi-Fi at the bar, I turned it on and while gulping down the wine I chose a dance disc, the music was fast and I started to give the best strip show I could, the wine was beginning to have an effect and there was a lot of laughing as I removed everything slowly, while trying to gracefully move to the beat, we were both laughing like crazy when I got down to my jockstrap, I moved close up to Andy and made a show of removing the last of my clothing. Andy reached out and grabbed my hips, pulling me to within. She didn’t ask to get pushed against the wall and humiliated. I stepped so far over the line I was in another state — an altered state. That’s it! That’s my plea. Judge, I need counseling. My toilet fetish drove me mad. May God have mercy on my sewer soul.’ ‘… DAD!’ Chris’s splash finally rained through his clouded thoughts. ‘Yeah, Chris, what’s up?’ ‘You know those dinosaurs that use their heads to ram into other dinosaurs?’ Dads know everything when you’re seven, and Sam cherished this brief time of infallibility. ‘Well, I don’t know them personally but I’ve heard of ’em.’ ‘What are they called?’ ‘Bumpasauruses.’ ‘No they’re not.’ ‘Boneheadasauruses.’ ‘Come on. Stop kidding.’ ‘The ones in Israel were called Oymyheadisaurs.’ Chris sat there, arms crossed, wearing his ‘get real’ face. ‘To tell you the truth, Chris, I don’t know. We’ll look it up later.’ ‘Are you coming in?’ Sam stood and stretched, and then placed his hand to his ear, as if to listen closely. In the foreboding.
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