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Breaking up with N. made me reluctant to get in a committed relationship. I was a free spirit – enjoying life…having sex companions rather than boyfriends – no commitment – no issues. Parties were very common- almost daily – booze and recreational d**gs were around campus. I was in my rock and roll period – wearing dyed long hair- I already had a piercing in my nose since I was a teenager…in Brussels I had 2 more piercings in each ear + one in my left eyebrow. I was wearing dark, Gothic makeup…torn jeans. I was no different than the majority of students at that time…but I must say that it was in that period that my parents were worried about me. They worried that freedom was going up to my head…while not patronising, they did advise me about getting my life in order. But they didn’t need to worry…while on the outside I looked like a punk rockNroll junkie…on the inside I was still a cool girl. I did drink…but I developed an affinity for beer – Belgium being the world capital for that. I expanded. "You ever smoke marijuana?" A couple of times. I even inhaled!" Did you get stoned, the first time?" No. I wondered what all the fuss was about. I got sort of sleepy, and things seemed sort of unreal. I didn't get stoned until the third time, I think, that I smoked." That is the effect I am seeking. With trust, and enough practice, you can learn to find your pleasure in what appears to simply be pain. It is a learned skill, just as getting stoned is, but other folks have mastered that skill. I want to provide you the opportunity to master that lesson, and helping you relax will help you get there. Make more sense, now?" Yeah," she responded slowly. "I still am not altogether sure about the pain leads to pleasure thing. Still, you are (impish emphasis added here) OOOLLLDDDEERRR! And, I suppose, you ought to know what you are talking about. How are you going to do this?" We'll start with a nice warm shower, we'll play a bit and then move into the highlight of today's.
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