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If he’d been wealthy there would be a queue twenty miles long!On the drive up to Heathrow to meet him, I’d become philosophical; reminding myself I was now a thirty-something widowed librarian; who had an opportunity to repair the rift there’d been with my father. I’d wanted things to be normal between us but then seeing him walk towards me in arrivals; that special something rose within me, and I wanted him.Now he cautiously sits next to me on the sofa saying. “Is there something I should know about then Val?”I catch him in my candid stare but say with a smile, ‘That’s odd actually Dan, I was about to ask you that very question.’Perplexing him further, I slowly lean against him and kiss him on the lips; slowly; in a way that a daughter shouldn’t.He stares at me a while before saying, ‘What’ was that for Val?’ Shifting up to him I put my mouth close to his ear and whisper, “What did you get up to when you put Jessica to bed last night Daniel?”He was visibly shaken and after a long. The funeral director can’t get the coffin lid nailed on and has to discuss the alternatives with the man’s beautiful young widow. “I’m afraid that the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another $3,000 for an extra-large coffin or to amputate his member”.“Well I have no more money” states the widow “and it is against my religion for me to bury my husband in more than one piece”.The funeral director thinks about this and then comes up with a brainwave: He’ll amputate his dick and then stick it up the deceased’s backside, in which case a more expensive coffin is unnecessary and the husband will still be, in a manner of speaking, in the one piece.The widow reluctantly agrees.On the day of the funeral, the deceased is displayed in an open casket. As the mourners file by, one mourner places flowers on the coffin and a drop of water from the flowers falls onto the deceased’s face, looking for all the world like a teardrop.The next mourner to file by is the widow. She looks down at.
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