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’ I remarked, as we walked towards the door. ‘We should have sex tonight.’ She turned and let out a sexy, evil laugh. ‘Okay.’ — I chuckled out loud, then coughed as I inhaled the cold air. Damn, it’s cold. ‘Your mother loved having sex, you know.’ I said. Michael stopped in the snow and cursed. ‘I really…really… REALLY hate it when you tell me these things.’ I laughed, not cruelly, at his discomfort. ‘Please. You and your wife pounded out your kids faster than I ever would’ve thought possible. And your sister and her husband aren’t far behind. Your mother and I were like jackrabbits in bed, but you and your wife… I’m impressed.’ ‘I’m not listening’ ‘No, really. I’m impressed.’ I grinned. He was so easy to tease. Sadly, he reminded me of his mother right then. ‘Dad, would you….’ His voice quieted down. ‘Yes, yes.’ I coughed, grabbing his arm. The air was doing a number on me. And then we were there. The snow was falling, maybe from the trees, I couldn’t tell. But under it, there she. ’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead ... Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?’Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church ... But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.’Muldoon said, ‘I’ll go right away Father. Do ya’ think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?’Father Patrick exclaimed, ‘Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?Donation Father O’Malley answers the phone. ‘Hello, is this Father O’Malley?’ ‘It is!’.
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