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My father was a typical man of his generation. An uneducated, highly intelligent labourer who wasn’t afraid to roll his sleeves up. He also didn’t faff about when it came to discipline. “A degree or a military beatdown,” Dad said point-blank. "Pick one.”His eyes were fixed on me like a hawk stalking its next meal. I knew he wasn’t kidding around this time.I wasn’t a bad kid by a stretch, but I wasn’t exactly a joy for parenting either. My luck was running out when it came to testing his patience. “Fine," I mumbled sarcastically. "I’ll fuck off to Uni then.” I was half-aware of the concern in my mother’s eyes as she watched my father’s blood pressure spike.My father stood up, exasperated. “Suzy, you deal with this before I clobber him."Before my mother could say a word, I came to my senses and broke the tension with perhaps my first genuine grownup sentence. “I’m sorry," I told my father with sincerity. “I know you’re only doing what’s best for me. So I’ll go and get myself a proper. Out there and I am sure I can shop therapy my way through Rodeo Drive on my way to recovery." Well, despite having sometimes obvious motives about what he's looking for in a woman, I should also say that he can be an absolutely charming bastard and it could make it a bit odd if you and he were to get together." He worked a piece of meat out of his molar with his tongue and I looked at him. He finally got it out as I waited, curious about how I had made an assumption about this guy I'd never meet."Anyway, it could get awkward." Oh, come on now, Don. If he's your uncle, I'm sure that he would take no for an answer. Besides, he's how old?" Mid forties. He was the youngest in his family, my father was the oldest." Hmm..." I said."Yes, well, there is also something else you should know before you get your motor humming." He sighed. "Well, before he went legit, the business my uncle was in was what we'd call 'adult entertainment' these days." Really? Are you trying to tell me your dear old.
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