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It was this very day and it was this very bench, but the thought then was fear, now unfortunately, it was regret. Which is more powerful I pondered, my mind taking the flight of fancy that one’s does when you sit in a spot such as this, gazing out into the vastness of the ocean. Fear is strong I reasoned, but for the most part short, sometimes momentary, sometimes longer, but eventually what you fear either happens or doesn’t, and then it’s done. Maybe you go on to the next bout of fear or maybe the fear was real and what you feared occurred, but either way the fear you had is gone. Ah, but regret, now that is another thing entirely, and with that epiphany I couldn’t help but feel myself let out a deep and mournful sigh. While fear can be a knife that quickly jabs you in the gut, regret is a deep and constant ache that never seems to go away. Well maybe, I thought, staring out into the water, it will go away. As yes, it has lessened a bit in the last couple of years, but go away,. The first honest conversation I have had in years, captured in time by this stranger with dark hair and green eyes. After a while we sit in some old comfortable leather chairs in the corner of the room, drinks in hand we look around the room, taking in our surroundings. Realising there is nothing else here that interests me I look back at him. Without thinking I place my hand on his black denim covered knee, I feel his body twitch under my touch. In my embarrassment I start to move my hand away, he grabs it quickly and puts it back. I meet his gaze, his smile showing me that my shyness is unnecessary. Instantly I am comfortable with being in contact with him. I release my instinctive need to flirt, which I had been containing for the evening, and our conversation turns playful. His hand travels down my bare arm as we laugh and chat, my hand brushing across his knees. As the heat of our bodies travel from one to the other, my thoughts turn to lust – so much for behaving, I think..
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