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" So are you going to call her back and tell her that you have a girlfriend and that you can't see her ever again?" Elena said, in a tone that sounded more like she was giving me an order more than than asking a question. "Of course. Sure I'll do that. I'm really sorry baby. I just..." I stopped not sure of what to say next.Then she moved next to me on the bed and looked up at me with sad eyes. I was pretty surprised at how easy she seemed to be letting me get off. I expected a highly emotional outburst of some kind. But that's just the way Elena is, forgiving, understanding, and not excessively temperamental, even though I knew she was very capable of making a big scene if she felt that he has been wronged.I was surprised when she gave a little peck on the cheek and said, "I know you could never be happy with anyone else." Really, and why do you think that?" I smiled."Because nobody can do the things for you the way that I can," and she leaned down and started to suck on my limp. Tongue to shoulder blade, her hips against my backside, pressing me against the wood. Fingers quick and smooth, across my belly, so warm. I turn on the faucet, the water rushing from the tap, so urgent, so desperate, it feels so cold. My feet are so cold, the tile biting my toes, my only sensitivity, my extremities. In the dark I can see her, she is looking at me, she has come to me, she has come back. As I place my glasses to my head, it all becomes so desperately clear. A mirror image, it is my own face, my own sunken eye sockets, my cheekbones pointed and noticed. I have become so thin. What would she think of me, this shell I have become. Where is my shirt? My breasts almost nothing, flaps of skin against shiny ribs. Subsisting on coffee, cigarettes, an occasional carrot stick. I don’t want to eat, such an empty table. A place setting for one, the chair across from me stagnant. Is that really me? The self, the coil, the me. I am sickening. The steam is rising from the faucet.
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