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The dreams started early this year. We would be in that field where we went to picnic all the time when you were little, remember? In my dream, I knew your father was dead, but he was telling me that it was almost time for me to come home to him. He said that you had a gift. He said you had learned to use it, and were responsible with it. I am not sure what he meant by this, perhaps you do? Or it could be just an old woman's dreams. In the earlier dreams he told me that you had a girlfriend, which you told me about when you came home, so I am of the belief that your father is talking to me.Still, I can remember so clearly the last time your father came to me in my dreams. He looked happy, and said that we would be together in a few days. He said on the 10th of July we would be rejoined for eternity. As I write this, it is the 6th of July. Son, this dream seemed so real! When I woke, I swear I could smell that aftershave he always wore that you gave him that last Father's Day. So I am. I love buying the more slutty looking outfits like denim skirts tank tops. And of course heavy eye makeup. Being thin and only 5'5'' and letting my hair get long I can easily pass for a young girl when dressed. Like any 15yr old I’ve discovered jerking off. Its way more powerful when fully dressed up. Just putting my hands in my lace panties gets me instantly hard. I imagine its a man feeling me up and running his fingers up and down my small cock. At first I had wish my cock was bigger then its 4 inches but then I noticed it doesn't show through my clothes. Even hard unless I wear something skin tight I can pass for a girl there too.The more I dress up the more I think of sex as a girl and not as a guy. My mom is out of town for three days and I’m all caught up on chores and school work.So I’ve decided to try exploring my boy pussy. My mom's hair brush seemed like a good choice. The handle is about 6 inches long and narrow. The only real lube I could find was a jar of Vaseline..
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