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"Oh, I nearly forgot." She dug into her pocket, pulled out a small, wrapped packet, and handed it to me. "Happy birthday!" Dare I open it here?" I asked.She just smirked. I carefully peeled back the paper and found a box with "Condoms and Lube" written on it. Blushing a little, I hid the box in my pocket."I got extra lube in case you decide to go the guy way for your first time," she said. "It's your party tonight; even you can't fail to get lucky on your birthday." You really know how to stroke a guy's ego," I said. “Besides, I’ve already had birthdays…”She continued to grin at me."So, got your eye on anyone for tonight?" she asked."I don't know," I replied. "Are you coming to the party?" Hell, you know I am, but I was going to bring someone. Is that okay?" She looked worried for a second."Of course. You already told me that you are too much woman for me in any case. Anyone I know?" Gordon." He's a nice guy," I said. "Be gentle with him." I'll take that under advisement," she said. Do you want me to look at him?" I guess he ain't got no choice. I was barely able ta git him this far." Let me help you to get him to the examining room. Jed, put your arm over my shoulder and put some weight on me. I won't break." We managed to get the poor man up on the examining/operating table before he fainted. I did a quick examination and concluded that he had a badly inflamed appendix. I said, "Jed has a badly inflamed appendix, and he will die if I don't take it out. Do you want me to do that?" Ma'am, I'm jus' the foreman at his ranch. I don't know what ta tell ya." Well, we have to act right now to save his life. We can't wait fer him to wake up so I can ask him what he wants done. I'll assume that he wouldn't have come here if he didn't want me to do whatever was necessary. This job takes more than two hands. I'll need for you to help me." Ma'am, I don't know nothin' 'bout doctorin'. How kin I be any he'p?" All you have to do is do exactly what I tell you when I tell you..
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