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I dont even like to get nakedwhen I'm alone, honestly.Why? Because as long as I'm wearing clothes, I can almost pretend I'm aregular girl.When I'm nude, I cant hide from my flaws, especially the one between mylegs that never lets me forget I'm not ... regular.It used to be worse - before I started taking hormones, I could hardlystand to look at myself even dressed, but with my breasts coming in alittle, now if I wear the right kind of clothes I guess there are worselooking women out there.But naked, all I see is the ugly bits, so I just dont go there.I know I shouldnt complain - I've seen some people who have it a lotrougher than me in the looks department - burn victims, people withhorrible diseases, people with terrible birth defects.Me, I just look like the guy I used to pretend I was.When you're trans, holidays can really suck, you know? Christmas becomesa reminder of the fact your family thinks you're going to hell, or Easterreminds you of all the pretty spring dresses you'd. We'd talked about sexual things in the past, but had never taken it that far. I began to wonder if she'd been fantasizing about me, too.I'm sure I was blushing, but tried to cover it up by saying, "I figured I'd save a little something for later." Let's swim," she said with enthusiasm."Sounds great," I responded, dropping my towel on a chair and then taking the few steps necessary to launch me off the side of the pool into the crystal clear, blue water.The first shock of a cool pool on my body is always thrilling. My heart skips a beat and I feel like I need to breathe deeply, but have to fight it while I'm under water. I swam over to the end of the pool, staying under water the whole time, then burst forth against the side, breathing deeply and enjoying the feeling of the water around me. I grabbed the edge and turned around to see where Michelle was.She was standing by the stairs, watching me with an amused smile on her face. When she saw that she had my attention again, she.
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