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“Psst! Hey kid! What does Father O’Malley give for a blow job?”Timmy smiles and answers, “Usually a Big Mac and a chocolate shake.”✧ ✧ ✧Father O’Malley hearing confessions when in steps little Johnny, and he says, “Father, I was intimate with a young girl yesterday.”Father O’Malley asks, “was it Jenny O’Rourke?”No, Was it Mary Ellis, No, Was it Kathleen Curran? No says Johnny, as Father O’Malley begins to insist on the name, Johnny runs out.On the street are two of his friends, and he yells to them, “I got the names, let go get laid.”✧ ✧ ✧At the ZooA young family were visiting the Zoo when their 7 year old daughter who is watching the elephants in their enclosure, sees the elephant’s penis hanging down below the male elephant. She asks her father, “Daddy, what is that hanging down under that elephant over there?”Her father, not ready to have that talk with her says, “I don’t know go ask your mother.”So the little girl goes over and asks her mother, “Mommy what is that thing hanging. “I came home this weekend to tell Annie that if she still wanted me to take her to the dance I would gladly but seeing as I am getting shit on in the house I thought I still lived in, I will go get a hotel room.”I picked up my overnight bag and left. Before I drove to the hotel, I turned my phone off. I had not set up my voice mail so no one could leave a message, but I would see the numbersWhen I got to the hotel, I called Annie. She started crying as soon as she answered. “Please Jerry, don’t be mad at me. I’m sorry I treated you like I have. I was hurt and mad at myself for throwing you away just because you went to college. Please talk to me.”“Annie I’m sorry that I got mad at you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t answer right away. There is no girl for me but you. You have hurt me twice now. I really should not count when I started middle school but it was still a hurt. I would be honored and proud to take you to your homecoming dance. If you still want me to take you.”“I’ll be right.
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