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It started out as a pretty bad night, actually. A few days earlier, my friend Phil and I had been at the bar deep in our cups. I had just been laid off, and was banging an oversized fist on the table. Phil had joked that I could be a superhero, what with my powers and all. These days, costumed heroes were so commonplace that the government gave them grants to focus on crime-stopping. Jokingly, we had started to come up with superhero names.(“The Fister! No, Fist Man!”“What about Big Boy?”“Seth, that sounds like you’re talking about your cock.”“Growth Man?”“Still sounds like you’re talking about your cock.”“You know, for someone who hasn’t been laid in six months, I get a lot of people talking about my dick.”)That bit of conversation was the last thing I remember about that night. It had just been a joke. But when I woke up the next morning (okay, the next afternoon), I had put in an order for a blue bodysuit and had halfway completed a superhero grant application as “The Smasher”.And. “Come by the store at nine-thirty. I have a surprise for you. I think it will help cure your birthday blues.” “Yeah,” I said. “What else have I got to do?” I went to bed drowning in self-pity that night, but by the time I woke up, I had mostly turned myself around. It was my birthday and I decided that I was going to celebrate. I showered and shaved, and pulled on an outfit Liz had picked out for me. I checked the mirror and grinned. I looked sharp. “Look out world. It’s my fucking birthday.” I ate a big breakfast at the Diner; french toast, waf- fles grapefruit, lemon poppy muffins, glazed donuts, sausage patties, orange juice, milk and coffee, all my favorites and more than I could eat. Stuffed, I drove down to the mall where Liz works. Still an hour before the shopping center officially opened, the stores were locked up behind lattices of metal. I rattled the cage at LA Reflections, the clothing store where Liz works as.
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