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“You can’t help us, so why are you here?”“Out fer a smoke. Not against the law. Yet.” He sucked on the pipe and shot yellow smoke out of his nostrils.“I think I understand.” She turned to Mike. “Do you think we should follow the hills?”“Maybe.” He turned to look at her, but she was looking at the gnome. Little green rings hovered in the air around the creature’s head.“Follow them for awhile, or for just a little bit?”“Um ... a while?” Mike ventured after Beth nudged him.Yellow smoke this time.“Well ... until we see something different, like a path or a river,” she amended.Green smoke now. The gnome scratched his belly through his beard.“And then maybe turn left?” Beth was watching the gnome intently now.He blew a red smoke ring that hovered above his head, then scowled at her. “You gonna be on your way, or what?”“Or maybe we’ll go right,” Mike suggested, his eyes on Beth.She turned her face toward him a little bit, making sure to keep the gnome in her peripheral vision. He was. "I don't know," Dwayne said, "Clarissa would kill me." What she doesn't know, won't hurt her," my father-in-law added."Still, I would know," Dwayne countered."Well, at least unwrap the present and let's take a look at what we've been fucking," someone else said."I guess we could do that," Dwayne agreed, my whole body stiffening as I realized everyone was about to realize who was in the box."It's the least you can do," Mike quipped, "someone obviously went to a lot of work setting this up for you, even though they won't take credit for it." Probably don't want to be on my daughter's bad list, she can be quite a bitch," my father said.It's crazy how one day can forever change who you are. Everyone thought I was a cold bitch and yet tonight I'd been anything but. Part of me wanted to be unwrapped so they could all see I'm not some ice queen, yet a bigger side of me knew that was a terrible idea.Suddenly my phone buzzed in the kitchen.Dwayne said, "That's weird, that's Clarissa's phone.".
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