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Anyway, something startling happened to me a few weeks ago. Remember me telling you that I'd only had sex with a woman 57 times in my 57 years? Well 50 of those 57 times were since my new girlfriend and I have been together - just over three months now. I guess it's true that there is a woman for every man, you just have to find her. Carla is a waitress at a local restaurant bar and she's a single mom with a 12 year old daughter. She's 35 and had a problem getting dates because she has a k**. Being single, I'd go to the same restaurant all the time and I got to know Carla and I always gave her nice tips so over time we became friends. The thing about Carla, is that she's very assertive and her personality clashed with her ex-husband's to the point that he would end up hitting her. Hence the reason they divorced. After a while Carla asked me if I wanted to take her out on a date. I was flattered, after all Carla's a pretty fine looking woman with a nice hard body, but there was no way. “The thing is,” she moved his face to the side so she could whisper in his ear, her lips curled up into a villainous sneer. “I need a fucking wimp like you in my life like I need a hole in the head. I’m embarrassed to even be seen next to you, you’re such a little nerd. You want to pay me for my time, fine. Pay me. But don’t expect me to fucking talk to you like I’m your friend. Got that shrimp-dick?” She was squeezing his face now, hurting him. “Maybe it’s because we got off to such a bad start, maybe it’s something about your face, I don’t know, but I fucking hate you. You want to touch me? You expect me to wiggle my ass on your teeny dick and rub my hands on your pathetic excuse for a body? Forget it. I’m only here to take your money, and you’ll take whatever I give you for it, understand? You don’t like it, get the fuck out and forget about ever seeing me again.” She let his face go and stood towering over him. “I said, do you understand?” she barked. “Or do you.
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