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Besides, Daddy rolls his eyes every single time I put on anything more than lip gloss and mascara anyway. Running across the hall to the bathroom, I risk a glance to the left and see Daddy's door shut. I swallow hard and rush into the bathroom to brush my teeth and apply deodorant. I'd forgotten to do that with all the drama earlier this morning. The second I reach the sink, I look in the mirror. I skim my face and notice that my eyes look a bit red, my cheeks are flushed, and my hair doesn't look that great in the lopsided ponytail. I snatch my hair down and shake it out. My dark curls scatter all over the place down over my face, neck, and shoulders. I take my fingers and push some of it to one side so that it falls over my right eye. It makes me look much older than my 16 soon to be 17 years of age. It's actually kind of sexy and I decide to leave my hair this way. I finish up by brushing my teeth, apply deodorant, and head downstairs so Daddy can drive me to school. Once I'm. I felt like a failure for some unknown reason. It wasn't like I had tried and failed. I didn’t want kids. Without a husband and partner, I now felt like I was this weirdo spinster that people would talk about.At the risk of leaving out a detail or two, I’ll save some time and just say that things spiraled a bit for me. The loneliness led to a glass of wine or two, which turned to a bottle, which sometimes ended with vodka. Of course, you know where this is going. It eventually bled into my personal and professional life. I was showing up to work hungover and barely getting my work done. My boss was understanding at first, but eventually, it was just plain inexcusable and I was let go.Feeling worse than ever, I called my best friend, Jill, and asked if I could stay with her for a few nights until I got myself a new place. I told her there was an issue at my apartment, but it was really nothing more than not wanting to be alone anymore. I knew I couldn’t drink like that staying with.
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