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" I paused for a moment,and then continued. "Anyway, Mother, the goodnight kiss was not in thecar. Mr. Perfect Gentleman walked me to the door. So, I was kissinghim standing up. And um, he was kind of pressed up against me. Andumm, well, let's just say, I could feel that he was um, very excited tobe kissing me."Mother looked a little stunned. I was laughing inside a little,thinking, "Be careful what you wish for! You wanted to know ALL thedetails, right?!"Mother said, "Oh, my! So, Sandy, I know that you say you are notattracted to boys, I get that, but how did it feel to know that he wasso attracted to you? I mean, it's a little bit of a separate question,right? I mean, there's a certain power in that, right?"I said, "No, Mommy, I didn't feel a sense of power. I felt sad.Because I like him and I know I can't be what he wants me to be. Whichis, attracted to him. I almost wish I could be."Mother said, "So, if I am hearing you right, you are saying that, youwould be HAPPY. Oh god, thought Karen. Slowly she typed, Matt, it goes without saying that I am attracted to you. Probably more than I have any right to be. But you dont understand. He replied, Whats to understand? Youre not happy. Youve told me that. Youve been in a marriage that is a simply a friendship. You have no real relationship with him. When is it time for you to think about you? Matt, do you understand that I dont know if I can be with anyone? I have only been with one man. We were each others first and never became creative lovers, she thought for a moment. After 10 years of not even kissing a man, Im not sure that I am a woman, let alone know anything about what a man wants and needs. Karens eyes welled with tears as she pushed send. Immediately Matt responded. What? Are you nuts? Trust me Karen, you are all woman. You are soft and gentle, and a very sensuous person. And as far as pleasing a man, dont you think you should expect to be pleased first? It was with that statement that.
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